Don't forget to nourish your marriage every day
If you are married, you and I have made a relationship commitment to our spouse. Through dating we learned about them, what we liked and what we didn't, what they valued and what they dreamed of. We chose them because we liked what they had to say and how we could reach our goals together.
As time goes on and life gets busy, many couples tend to give only leftover time to their relationships. When that happens, spouses end up taking from their marriages and rarely nourishing them. The result can be a marriage that is dying from routine, habit and basic neglect.
Some research indicates that we spend less than 15 minutes a week truly sharing with our spouse. It is important to get away and spend time together to nourish your relationship, to maintain a satisfying marriage.
In doing some research for this article, I found the following quiz, "How well do you know them now?" from Susan Vogt. It's a place to start, so take it by yourself and then give a copy to your spouse to do the same. Then, take some time to really sit and share with them about the answers and see what you learn.
1. How much money would I spend without consulting my spouse first?_____
2. If I could buy anything, what would it be? My spouse?
3. What is my favorite place to go out to eat? My spouse's?
4. If I could vacation anywhere on earth, where would it be? My spouse's?
5. What is my favorite movie? My spouse's?
6. What is my favorite reading material or book? My spouse's?
7. What is my favorite time of day? My spouse's?
8. Where is my favorite place to make love? My spouse's?
9. What makes me laugh? My spouse?
10. When is my prayer time? My spouse's?
11. Household chores I despise. My spouse's?
12. My favorite thing to wear. What's my spouse say I look good in?
13. What is my spouse's shoe size? ______
14. What do I think we disagree about the most? What does my spouse think?
15. What is my favorite "pig out" food? My spouse's?
16. What is my favorite leisure activity? My spouse's?
17. My favorite expression is… My spouse's?
Communication is the foundation of a relationship and sometimes we forget to take time to really remember and respect our spouse's opinion. Treat yourself to a little special time to really talk and maybe use some or all of the above questions to get you started. Maybe then you can carve out a few minutes of every day, for an e-mail or text to let your spouse know that you are thinking of them.
Marriage is a lifetime process that demands many skills. Understanding, listening, decision making, negotiation, conflict management and communication are the basis for a journey together.
Have a question you would like answered? Call 330-674-3015, e-mail shumaker.68@osu.edu, or write to OSU Extension, Holmes County, 10 S. Clay St., Suite 102, Millersburg 44654.
Published: March 17, 2011
