Out of the frying pan ...
I went into labor on the last day of my last full-time job. I was working at a school and my water broke in the teacher’s restroom. I said nothing, embarrassed that I’d managed to go into labor on my last scheduled day of work, and because I knew there was a cake planned for me last period. It was my first baby and I was shy and didn’t want to call a great deal of attention to myself. So I worked through the day, contractions growing steadily stronger, ate my cake, said goodbye to the students and my fellow teachers, and headed straight for the midwives’ office. I chuckle at that version of myself now—put into that same situation today, I would just laugh and tell everyone to enjoy my cake while I go have me a baby.
That memorable day happened more than 10 years ago, and I haven’t worked a regular job outside the house since. I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to do some freelance work from home, and I’ve done a few short-term retail gigs. But little of that made a significant financial difference for our family; we chose to make sacrifices to live on one income so that I could be home with our children.
But our youngest child will be entering kindergarten next year, and it’s time for me to think of going back to work. The prospect of rejoining the workforce after such a long hiatus is daunting. How do I construct a résumé that will convince an employer to hire me instead of someone who has been working steadily since college? If there’s a gap in one’s employment history, Internet resources suggest writing a skills-focused résumé instead of a chronological one. But what skills shall I list?
I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich. I can juggle multiple loads of laundry while making a batch of granola and hosting a preschool play date. I can help two children with homework while simultaneously making shrimp scampi and planning the next PTA meeting agenda. I know the lyrics to every song The Wiggles sang prior to 2006. I can read Caps for Sale more entertainingly than anyone I know. I can decorate birthday cakes (which I make from scratch), and I’m adept at drawing mazes to keep preschoolers quiet during church. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I can’t put any of that on a résumé.
So, returning to the chronological-style resume, I’ve inserted an entry that I’ve titled, “Full-time parent and community volunteer,” a post I’ve held consistently for the last 10 years despite demanding employers and nary a paycheck. (Thank goodness I got busy on the PTA and joined a couple other committees lately.) It will be interesting to see how that flies with prospective interviewers.
What a conundrum parents face when choosing whether to have one stay at home with the kids, or for both to work and pay for childcare. There are dozens of factors to consider, but the one I managed to shove under my mental rug was my future quest for reemployment. My situation is hampered a bit by the fact that I’ve never been sure what career I want to pursue; a parent who has worked professionally for years doesn’t face quite the challenge I do after taking a few years off. But the current job climate doesn’t guarantee anything—I have a friend who worked in her field for 13 years, took one year off to be with her baby, and has yet to find a job for next year. There just aren’t that many opportunities out there, and competition for the few available jobs is stiff.
It’s humbling to be applying for a (probably entry-level) job at my age, knowing that I’m competing with younger people who—on paper, at least—appear to be more qualified. But I have no regrets for the 10 years I spent raising my children. I am witness to their every accomplishment and mistake. Nearly every meal and snack has come from my hands. I’ve taken them for doctor and dentist appointments, to swimming lessons, parks, libraries, and play dates. We’ve made play dough and collected leaves and finger painted together. The truth is, I’m selfish—I wanted those moments for myself, and I treasure them.
Hopefully, a prospective employer will be able to look beyond the gap in any stay-at-home parent’s employment history, and fill it in with the skills child rearing and household management require. I’ve been teacher, counselor, psychiatrist, artist, chef, waitress, accountant, diplomat, secretary, gardener, nurse, chauffeur, librarian, custodian, performance artist, party planner … And I guess if they can’t understand that, it’s their loss, right?
What do you think? Post your comment at Another Way at http://www.thirdway.com/aw or send to melodied@thirdwaymedia.org or by regular mail to Another Way, Box 22, Harrisonburg, VA 22803.
Another Way is a column from Third Way Media by Melodie Davis. She is the author of nine books, most recently Whatever Happened to Dinner and has written Another Way since 1987. She is also the producer and cohost of Shaping Families radio program (shapingfamilies.com) airing nationally.
That memorable day happened more than 10 years ago, and I haven’t worked a regular job outside the house since. I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to do some freelance work from home, and I’ve done a few short-term retail gigs. But little of that made a significant financial difference for our family; we chose to make sacrifices to live on one income so that I could be home with our children.
But our youngest child will be entering kindergarten next year, and it’s time for me to think of going back to work. The prospect of rejoining the workforce after such a long hiatus is daunting. How do I construct a résumé that will convince an employer to hire me instead of someone who has been working steadily since college? If there’s a gap in one’s employment history, Internet resources suggest writing a skills-focused résumé instead of a chronological one. But what skills shall I list?
I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich. I can juggle multiple loads of laundry while making a batch of granola and hosting a preschool play date. I can help two children with homework while simultaneously making shrimp scampi and planning the next PTA meeting agenda. I know the lyrics to every song The Wiggles sang prior to 2006. I can read Caps for Sale more entertainingly than anyone I know. I can decorate birthday cakes (which I make from scratch), and I’m adept at drawing mazes to keep preschoolers quiet during church. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I can’t put any of that on a résumé.
So, returning to the chronological-style resume, I’ve inserted an entry that I’ve titled, “Full-time parent and community volunteer,” a post I’ve held consistently for the last 10 years despite demanding employers and nary a paycheck. (Thank goodness I got busy on the PTA and joined a couple other committees lately.) It will be interesting to see how that flies with prospective interviewers.
What a conundrum parents face when choosing whether to have one stay at home with the kids, or for both to work and pay for childcare. There are dozens of factors to consider, but the one I managed to shove under my mental rug was my future quest for reemployment. My situation is hampered a bit by the fact that I’ve never been sure what career I want to pursue; a parent who has worked professionally for years doesn’t face quite the challenge I do after taking a few years off. But the current job climate doesn’t guarantee anything—I have a friend who worked in her field for 13 years, took one year off to be with her baby, and has yet to find a job for next year. There just aren’t that many opportunities out there, and competition for the few available jobs is stiff.
It’s humbling to be applying for a (probably entry-level) job at my age, knowing that I’m competing with younger people who—on paper, at least—appear to be more qualified. But I have no regrets for the 10 years I spent raising my children. I am witness to their every accomplishment and mistake. Nearly every meal and snack has come from my hands. I’ve taken them for doctor and dentist appointments, to swimming lessons, parks, libraries, and play dates. We’ve made play dough and collected leaves and finger painted together. The truth is, I’m selfish—I wanted those moments for myself, and I treasure them.
Hopefully, a prospective employer will be able to look beyond the gap in any stay-at-home parent’s employment history, and fill it in with the skills child rearing and household management require. I’ve been teacher, counselor, psychiatrist, artist, chef, waitress, accountant, diplomat, secretary, gardener, nurse, chauffeur, librarian, custodian, performance artist, party planner … And I guess if they can’t understand that, it’s their loss, right?
What do you think? Post your comment at Another Way at http://www.thirdway.com/aw or send to melodied@thirdwaymedia.org or by regular mail to Another Way, Box 22, Harrisonburg, VA 22803.
Another Way is a column from Third Way Media by Melodie Davis. She is the author of nine books, most recently Whatever Happened to Dinner and has written Another Way since 1987. She is also the producer and cohost of Shaping Families radio program (shapingfamilies.com) airing nationally.
Published: June 15, 2011
