As the New Year arrived, I realized that this year would bring us to a new era in our lives as parents. Our oldest child will turn 13, making us the parents of a teenager for the first time. Consequently, my thoughts have turned to all the things that I want our sons to know and master before they leave our doors for independent lives.

Even though we began the process of equipping them to handle things on their own at an early age, I know the years to come will involve putting more and more responsibility on their shoulders.

I remember my mother nearly chanting that with increased freedom and privilege comes additional responsibility. No doubt, my children will feel the same because I, too, have repeated the sentiment often.

As parents our goal is to raise children that are prepared to meet the challenges of their lives. Doing so requires a long and varied list of skills and character qualities.

Just basic life skills include cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, oil and tire changing, car repair, insurance purchasing, saving, investing, balancing a checkbook, paying bills, yard work, pet care, child care, wise shopping, and much more.

Then there are all the things to make their lives healthy. It starts with basic hygiene, but includes food choices, portion choices, and proper exercise.

Organizational skills have always served me well, so I also want our children to understand time management, work and life balance, and how to organize the spaces in their lives. I am a firm believer that organized cupboards, closets, and files make life tremendously easier.

Wrapped up in all the nuts and bolts of accomplishing life’s tasks are the emotional and relational aspects that make life meaningful. I want our sons to be men of solid character, understanding, empathy, tenderness and strength.

As part of all they face, I want them to have a deep understanding of what they believe and why they believe it.

I want our sons to be wise in choosing wives, building their families, and raising their children. Not only have we tried to raise our children according to certain standards, we have also tried to help them understand the reasons we parent the way that we do. They may choose another method if they are blessed with children, but at least they will have an understanding of our approach to the challenge of parenting.

Of course, I also want our sons to develop professionally. Money certainly isn’t the only thing or the most important, but having enough to meet the needs of their families will certainly make life easier. Not only do I hope that they will find careers that they enjoy, but that they will develop expertise and a professional manner of conduct in doing so.

Along with all the very serious things I have mentioned, I want our sons to have well developed senses of humor and capacities for fun. Sometimes a good sense of humor gets us through life better than deep contemplation.

In my opinion, life should also be heavily spiced with fun, adventure, and simple pleasures.

As with most parents, I have a pile of both hopes and goals for our children. Some will come with planning, work and discipline. Others will happen as an approach to life. Still others simply may not materialize.

I know the things I have mentioned do not even approach a comprehensive list, but thinking about goals and where we are going can point us in the right direction.

When I discussed our new situation with a friend, she said that her mother often said the job of parents is to make themselves obsolete, but not unwanted. I like that idea. I want our sons to very much stand on their own while wanting to visit as well.

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