Letís go back, though, to my second sentence. When I tell people that I rise at 4:55 a.m. to type my column, they stare me down and canít believe it. Why on earth do you get up so early on a Monday morning to write? When I stop and think about it, I realize nothing could make me get up so early, especially on a Monday, except something that I love to do. Writing? I love it. When I write I require deathly silence. I have tried to write in the evenings, but it doesnít work. I hear the kids stomping around upstairs with their music on, or I hear George in front of the TV waiting for his time with me. The house is alive in the evenings and I just canít let the words flow knowing people are stirring.
Early, early mornings the house is deathly quiet Ė except for the birds who are twittering away on the branches right outside the window. They donít bother me. I turn on one wall light next to the kitchen table where my laptop is laid out, brew up some strong coffee, open up Microsoft Word and let the words fly. It flows easily and quickly, with the house not making a noise except for the whirring of my laptop. By the time my coffee has cooled and is down to the last dregs, my column is finished for the week and I whisk off to my other job.
My heart is full of wishes this early Monday morning Ė wishes Iíve touched on before. What I long for is not to have to drive away to my other job. I want to stay planted here at this table, and let all the pent up words fly on this blank document that I can. That book that has always been so dauntingly stretched out before me is ready to let loose. Iím the only one holding it back. Yet, Iím afraid. Afraid to let go of the security I have to pay the cell phone bill, the electric bill, and whatever small bill Iíve taken charge of since going back to an office job. Most people would tell me that I can do both. I know that I can, but I really want to succeed on my own trying to do what I love. Hold on to that day job, my mind tells me. But then I go back to past columns, and I know that itís trying to get out. A reminder would be this one from several weeks ago http://www.holmesbargainhunter.com/article/20120424/COLUMN/704249967/-1/hbh. Even though itís on travel, it shows how I know one job isnít the end game for me. Itís a springboard to what I know I can be. Itís given me confidence to be productive again.
Most people look at a job in a certain way, a way to hang on and stay comfortable. I might just be ready to let go and try it on my own. Iím the only one holding myself back. I want to work steadily, be productive, and write my own lifeís content Ė not just what others are telling me to do. The steady monotony of life, routine jobs, and so forth can bring you low until you realize itís up to you to bring it up.
If you can honestly look at yourself, and I said honestly, what is your dream? Is it to go from 9 to 5 until you canít go anymore? Do you dream of living on a ranch and raising horses? Is your dream to have your shop and build wonderful pieces of art to sell to the public? Or do you have my dream to write until you burst, and get your views and pieces of your heart out into the world for all to read?
Most of the time our dreams donít become reality Ė but thatís because others make us afraid to try. The world needs our dreams, risky or not, and if we fail then we fail. But at least we tried.
1) Dave Ramsey is an inspiration, and out of his failures he made it big. Here is an article on how to turn your monotony into your dreams: http://www.daveramsey.com/article/5-steps-to-make-the-leap-to-your-dream-job/lifeandmoney_career/
2) Looking back through my columns I see my dream is threaded throughout. Read this article again for stay at home mom inspiration: http://www.holmesbargainhunter.com/article/20120226/COLUMN/702269986/-1/hbh
3) I love this lady from The Creative Penn Ė she inspires me: http://www.thecreativepenn.com/2012/05/14/writing-dreams/
4) Check out The Money Saving Mom for this great little planner for only $5! http://moneysavingmom.com/2012/05/motivated-moms-2012-chore-planner-for-just-5.html
Published: May 13, 2012